Archive for March, 2007

Calvert DeForest

Monday, March 26th, 2007

He played Larry “Bud” Melman on Late Night With David Letterman, and would have continued after Letterman’s move to CBS if NBC hadn’t insisted that the name was their intellectual property.  (Still waiting for you to do something with that valuable IP, NBC)

The image that stayed with me was Calvert dressed up as Roy Orbison doing an Emegency Broadcast System announcement.  “In the event of an actual emergency, the real Roy Orbison will instruct you . . .”  He ended with a beautifully off-key “mercy.”

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Of Interest - 3/26/07

Monday, March 26th, 2007

From Esquire, Frank Miller on filmmaking.

ESQ: Your embrace of filmmaking is surprising, given your experience in Hollywood.

FM: What I learned there is that your screenplay is a fire hydrant with an awful lot of dogs lined up behind it.

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Catherine Siepp

Friday, March 23rd, 2007

One of my heroes has passed away.

I ran across her articles on National Review Online and immediately bonded with her tough and fearless approach to California and Hollywood, the silliest place and industry our country has to offer. She also blogged (look below the surface, many of the comment strings are compelling). I’d noticed her article frequency was declining and discovered it was due to fighting lung cancer, a fight that ended last Wednesday.

It’s hard for me to feel a sense of loss for someone I’ve never known. I’m feeling it now.

Tales of the Easily Annoyed - XX

Friday, March 23rd, 2007

I hate car shopping, for good reason. I learned years ago that there is nothing a car salesman won’t say to get you to take the deal, figuring he can fix it later. And the whole “let me talk with my manager” thing is both insulting and infuriating.

But, after reparing the transmission on the Xterra and looking at about another couple of grand in maintenance expenses in the next few months, I realized it was foolish to sink that kind of money into a car that was worth $4,000 as a trade-in. It was time to replace it.

I initially wanted to look at small luxury sedan. So, I went Crest Infiniti in Plano with my family to look at the G35. I don’t know if it was the fact that I had my wife & kids along, or how I was dressed, or whether I looked too ethnic, but not one employee of that dealership approached me. Only one employee spoke to us, and that was without breaking stride on his way somewhere else, commenting that the QX56 on the sales floor had a Playstation in it. Other than that, no salesperson even made eye contact.

Fortunately, I was able to sit in the G35 and realize that it was too cramped and low for me, as much as I liked the idea of the car. Not that I would have bought a damn thing from Crest anyway. I’m not going to beg for service or announce my annual income just to impress a car salesman enough to talk to me.

Then we went to the McKinney Nissan dealership, where a perfectly nice gentleman showed us vehicles that consistently had a $1200 markup over the sticker price. He explained that this was the “Environmental Protection Plan,” which was a fancy name for some sort of clear-coat paint sealant they put on at the dealership.

This is why I hate car dealerships. They’re always working an angle. I’d be willing to bet that they would come off the price for the EPP, and then act like they were doing me a favor by selling it to me at MSRP. We didn’t even talk money.

I ended up leasing a Pathfinder LE from Autoflex, the easiest car transaction I’ve ever done. To heck with car dealers.

Tales of the Easily Annoyed - XIX

Friday, March 23rd, 2007

It’s time to permanently retire the whole “vomit in my mouth” family of expressions.

Permanently, and with severe penalties for violations.

Of Interest - 3/23/07

Friday, March 23rd, 2007

Popular Science on how the Wii controller works.

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Interview on YouGamers with Scott Miller, CEO of 3D Realms, the company that brought us Duke Nukem 3D and hasn’t brought us Duke Nukem Forever. It’s got to be tough admitting that you’ve screwed up a winning game series:

First, we fully admit we’re screwed up the development of DNF, and it’s now an industry joke.

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Fox News is reporting that charges are soon to dropped against the Duke Lacrosse Team members accused of rape, kidnapping, and assault. An excellent illustration of why we need to let the system work instead of reacting to mere charges that could be the result of prosecutorial abuse. Ironically, it looks like the only charges that will stick from this case are against DA Mike Nifong. That is as it should be. Crooked lawyers piss me off.

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Of Interest - 3/21/07

Wednesday, March 21st, 2007

GamePro talks to a psychiatrist about game griefers. I’m not sure I agree with her group behavior theories, sometimes an asshole is just an asshole. Especially a male teenage one.

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GamesRadar presents the top 7 game industry PR blunders. Nobody will ever forget “John Romero’s about to make you his bitch.” (Still waiting for that.) Unsurprisingly, Sony gets two.

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Tales of the Easily Annoyed - XVIII

Tuesday, March 20th, 2007

The further away I get from a trip to a zoo, the more I forget how much I don’t care for them. Bewteen the smell, the other visitors, and the listless residents, it’s a bit depressing for me. I can only see so many global variations of the tapir until I stop caring about whether one particular kind is endangered or not.

But this trip, I discovered a new reason to stay away.  I can sum it up in two words:

Monkey Blowjob.

Right in front of the viewing window (and my kids, of course), we have Monkey #1 leaning back and resting his arms behind his head. I don’t think Monkey #1 was surprised by what followed, which was Monkey #2 doing a slow face-dive into Monkey #1’s frontal swimsuit area.  I didn’t stick around to see if we had met any particular definition of fellatio, but I saw the look on that monkey’s face.

For the record, that monkey was tickling the other monkey, son.

Just How Much Stress Are We Talking About?

Tuesday, March 20th, 2007

A whole new meaning for the ”two carry-on limit.” 

An Iraqi immigrant faces deportation after triggering a security scare at Los Angeles International Airport when authorities found a suspicious device lodged in his body, officials said. Fadhel Al-Maliki, 35, of Atlantic City, N.J., prompted the alert March 6 during a screening for a flight to Philadelphia when he tried to go through security with two objects in his rectum.

The FBI said he told screeners the objects, a polished stone and a piece of metal, were used to fight stress. That wasn’t enough to constitute a federal offense, FBI spokeswoman Laura Eimiller said.

We already have to take our shoes off, Fadhel, let’s not give them any more ideas.  Although, as far as stress relief goes, I suppose it would distract you from thinking about anything that wasn’t jammed up your posterior.

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Of Interest - 3/20/07

Tuesday, March 20th, 2007

Forbes tells us why Xbox 360 and PS3 games need to cost $60. The short answer: more development costs.

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From Joystiq: You’d think this would go without saying, but if you’re tresspassing on someone else’s property and racking up some misdemeanors, don’t leave a digital camera behind with pictures of yourselves doin’ crime.

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Swiped shamelessly from Various and Sundry: The 10 Worst TV Show Spinoffs. Joanie Loves Chachi is only the start. I won’t give away number one, but I have a good bit of its theme song memorized to this day. That’s not a good thing.

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Of Interest - 3/19/07

Monday, March 19th, 2007

From Powerline: Muslim checkout clerk in a Minneapolis Target refuses to scan bacon for religious reasons.  People react.

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From Dubious Quality: The discounting begins.  An Electronics Boutique in Toronto has a trade-in deal for the PS3: Trade in any 10 recent used games with a trade-in value above $8, and get a 60gig PS3 for $399 (Canadian dollars, of course).  The PS3 usually sells for $659 in Canada.

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From Various and Sundry: Apparently, the recent 3-way tie in Jeopardy was no coincidence, one of the players thought it would be cool and bet accordingly.

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From Fast Company: From Hulk to Bruce Lee, the story of marketing the Xbox 360.

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Of Interest - 3/17/07

Saturday, March 17th, 2007

Apparently, Carol Burnett wasn’t amused by being depicted as a porn shop janitor in Family Guy.

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SkyWest airlines apologizes to a man for denying him the use of the airplane restroom, forcing him to urinate into an airsickness bag. (I think that part was his idea.) I did notice those things were plastic-coated when I was flying back from vacation.

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I am at a complete loss as to why Sony would think a woman on the toilet (even an attractive one) would help them sell PS3s. No, really. Follow the link.

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Futurama is returning as four new 90-minute direct-to-DVD movies, which will then be chopped up into 30-minute episodes for infinite showings on Comedy Central. I’ll take new stuff any way I can get it.

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Tales of the Easily Annoyed - XVII

Saturday, March 17th, 2007

The internet is so ingrained into our culture that not having feels like having lost the use of one of your senses. That’s why it was so infuriating when my Time Warner cable modem (we use brand names here, folks) stopped working a couple of weeks ago. Actually, the not working part was just frustrating, the infuriation kicked in when I could not find a phone number to call them to report not having service.

Time Warner recently acquired the local cable service in town from Comcast. When I looked up the materials they sent to me about the transition, they only directed users to the website for their questions. No phone number there. The listed phone number for Time Warner in my town rang to a disconnected number. They bill my service directly to my Amex, so no phone number there, either.

Finally, while watching TV I was able to pause the DVR on an ad for Time Warner Cable that had a phone number. The ease of swapping out the defective cable modem once they told me the location of the local office almost made up for their hiding behind their website except for when they want to sell me something.

This Idea Has Potential

Saturday, March 17th, 2007

Horror movies are becoming so intense I can barely stand to watch a commercial for one, especially with kids in the room. And one of the worst things about these R-rated movies  is that morons are allowed to bring in a child of any age as long as they are accompanied by someone over the age limit. These movies don’t get the ratings they deserve because movie theaters won’t show NC-17-rated movies.

The chairman of the Motion Pictures Association of America, Dan Glickman, wants to make the NC-17 rating respectable. The MPAA has recently been fine-tuning the movie rating system, and this week at ShoWest in Las Vegas Glickman will plead his case . . .

One of the ideas for the use of the NC-17 category is to eliminate what is known as ‘hard R`s,’ which is content that is so graphic that it should not be seen by anyone under the age of 17. An example is the ‘Saw’ franchise, the report said.

When Tarantino & Rodriguez’s R-rated “From Dusk ’til Dawn” was in the theaters, My Lovely Wife & I went to see it in North Dallas. The showing was crowded, and about five minutes into the movie, in walks a family of four. They couldn’t find seats together, so they sat a child who could not have been older than six or seven alone next to MLW. This was an act of cruelty by clueless parents to a little boy who was obvioulsy scared shitless by the film.

However I did learn a valuable lesson: People are stupid, that’s why we need rules even for obvious things.

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What I’ve Figured Out So Far - Vacation Edition

Thursday, March 15th, 2007

Theme parks are perfectly OK with the idea of charging full price for admission while operating the park at half capacity.

If you don’t ask a local resident where the good restaurants are, you’ll end up eating at tourist traps.

The only good thing about traveling with small children is being allowed to pre-board.

If you have a prescription, count your pills to make sure you’ve got enough to last until you get back from your trip.

Children’s ability to watch the same movie over and over is a valuable thing.

If you give your grandchildren permission to jump on an air mattress over the course of several nights, they will eventiually cause it to leak. The parents of said children, who thought it was a bad idea to begin with, will probably not offer to buy a new one, especially after discovering the existence of the leak in the middle of the night.

The latest version of the iPod is a better video player than the PSP.  Storage space beats screen size.

Zoos are open when the animals they house are least likely to be doing anything.

The interiors of Chrysler minivans look cheap.

Get a direct fight if it’s at all possible.