The Montgomery Burns Award For Outstanding Achievement In The Field Of Stupid
Everybody thinks they’re special. That they’re the exception to the rule. That bad things happen to other people because those people were stupid or careless or otherwise had it coming. And then Client 9 gets caught paying $4300 for Kristen the “VIP” hooker.
. . . the IRS noticed unusual financial transactions between [New York Governor Eliot] Spitzer and several shell companies that fronted for the ring.
Spitzer aroused suspicion when he tried to divide up a large financial transaction of over $10,000 into smaller amounts to avoid federal reporting requirements.
The governor then tried to have his name removed from the smaller wire transfers but his bank refused - and alerted authorities that something fishy was going on.
As the investigation advanced, Spitzer was eventually caught on a wiretap ordering a brunette named “Kristen” to his room at the Mayflower Hotel on Feb. 13, the night before he testified before a congressional committee.
The jaw-dropper is that this is a guy who prosecuted others for the exact crime he got caught doing.
Though his signature issue was pursuing Wall Street misdeeds, as attorney general Mr. Spitzer also had prosecuted at least two prostitution rings as head of the state’s organized crime task force.
In one such case in 2004, Mr. Spitzer spoke with revulsion and anger after announcing the arrest of 16 people for operating a high-end prostitution ring out of Staten Island.
“This was a sophisticated and lucrative operation with a multitiered management structure,” Mr. Spitzer said at the time. “It was, however, nothing more than a prostitution ring.”
Dumbass. Did you not learn a damn thing from Bill Clinton? Interns are free nookie! No pesky forms to fill out! And when you’re a Democrat, you can count on you party defending you as long as you didn’t pay for it.
Think Globally, Act Stupidly
Do what we say or go to hell. No, really. Hell.
The new seven deadly, or mortal, sins are designed to make worshippers realise that their vices have an effect on others as well. According to Roman Catholic doctrine, mortal sins are a “grave violation of God’s law” and bring about “eternal death” if unrepented by the act of confession. They are far more serious than venial sins, which impede a soul’s progress in the exercise of virtue and moral good.
Mgr Girotti said genetic modification, carrying out experiments on humans, polluting the environment, causing social injustice, causing poverty, becoming obscenely wealthy and taking drugs were all mortal sins.
Since some folks classify exhaled CO2 as pollution, I guess I’m already screwed. Might as well perform genetic modification experiments on people I’ve made poor. Oh, the social injustice.
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But wait, the protestants want in on it, too.
In a major shift, a group of Southern Baptist leaders said their denomination has been “too timid” on environmental issues and has a biblical duty to stop global warming.
Yes, it’s the poorly publicized eleventh commandment: Thou shalt honor thy latest environmental fad, and keep it holy.
Politically Stupid
When is child pornography no big deal? When you run a library.
A library worker in the town of Lindsay reported to police last week that a man was looking at child pornography on one of the library computers, and because of that tip, police arrested 39-year-old Donny Chrisler.
Brenda Biesterfeld says by calling the police, she disobeyed the direction of a supervisor. The supervisor told her to make a note on the man’s library account and tell him to stop looking at the pictures. Biesterfeld felt that the authorities needed to be alerted, so she called the police anyway. When police did get involved, they found thousands of images of child pornography. 39-year-old Donnie Chrisler was arrested, and a day and a half later; Biesterfeld was out of a job.
What was the next level for the supervisor? A stern lecture? Every once in a while, librarians show their bizarre and absolute belief that if it’s done in a library, it’s somehow a protected activity.
Stupid.net
Faildogs
Educated Is Not The Opposite Of Stupid
Schools must have fixed all of their other problems, because now they have time to criminalize candy possession.
Michael Sheridan, an eighth-grade honors student who was suspended for a day, barred from attending an honors dinner and stripped of his title as class vice president after he was caught with a bag of Skittles candy in school. Michael was disciplined after he was caught buying a bag of Skittles from a classmate.
Like they usually do, the school officials backed down once the media got the story and made them look like petty bureaucrats. One wonders how many kids get screwed like this but can’t interest the media in the story.
