Stupid For Legal Purposes
If Heather Mills thought she was going to end her marriage to Paul McCartney with any class, that idea had to have ended when she chose to represent herself in court. Now, she’s just the one-legged wack job who wasted everyone’s time to get pretty much what she was offered in the first place.
She asked for 125 million pounds, and got 24.3 million. If you practiced law for a living, that would represent an ass-whipping. But if you represent yourself, there is no fail-state:
Ms Mills was “over the moon”, [her representative] said. “She is absolutely delighted, elated.
Because “delighted, elated” people traditionally throw water on the other side’s lawyer on the way out of court.
Ms Mills, who dispensed with her lawyers, rejected any idea that she could have done better with legal help. Referring to the judge and lawyers she said: “These people are in a club, it’s like they want to stay together and they don’t want a litigant in person to do well but he could not award me and my daughter such a low sum because it was actually impossible.”
Yeah, Heather, it wouldn’t have had anything to do with you not being truthful, would it?
“Having watched and listened to her give evidence, having studied the documents, and having given in her favour every allowance for the enormous strain she must have been under (and in conducting her own case), I am driven to the conclusion that much of her evidence, both written and oral, was not just inconsistent and inaccurate but also less than candid. Overall she was a less than impressive witness.”
Mr Justice Bennet said: “In her evidence she told me that as much as 80 per cent or 90 per cent of her earnings went direct to charities. However, the wife had to accept in her cross-examination that there was no documentary evidence, for example letters from the relevant charities, that her fees were sent direct to charities.”
“But the tax returns do not disclose any bank interest earned or only very small sums which are not consistent with holding £2m- £3m in a bank or banks. Moreover her tax returns disclose no charitable giving at all.“
That’s British for “screw you, you lied your ass off.”
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Internet justice beats actual police-involved justice.
On March 12 McPherson returned [home] to discover that his home had been broken into and that the burglar had made off with his Xbox 360, an old Powerbook and a television.
Familiar with the competence of the Philadelphia police, McPherson decided to hunt for the items himself and soon found that the burglar had tried to sell his laptop at a local pawn shop, which has images of the guy from their camera. He tries to give the info to police, but never hears back.
That would be the end of it, but he was dealing with a moron.
He goes home, hooks [a new 360] up and discovers a voice message on his 360 from some guy saying he has his 360 and wants cash to give it back. Better still the idiot uses his current account to leave the message.
McPherson calls police again and is hung up on… so he turns things over to the Internet. Since the story hit Digg the person who left the message asking for 360 ransom has been identified, his address and high school location posted, he’s been harassed, seemingly endlessly, via AIM.
Eventually the kid caved and told his parents, McPherson was, apparently in touch with them and now seems to have all of his stuff back.
Politically Stupid
In case you haven’t seen it, CBS busted Hillary Clinton for claiming she remembered “landing under sniper fire.” Looks like when you run against Obama, you’re an honorary Republican.
At first, she claimed she was sleep-deprived and misspoke (this from the woman running the “3am” ad?). So CBS followed it up with the history of the lie, showing how the Bosnia landing grew more dangerous each time she told the story. In December 2007, it was a corkscrew landing because there might be sniper fire. In February 2008, her welcoming ceremony had to be indoors “because of sniper fire.” By March, she was claiming a “landing under sniper fire” with instructions to run to her car. CBS has the video of her standing in the middle of a class of seventh-graders on the runway.
Lying was a lot easier before the internet got big, wasn’t it?
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Borders are a big deal lately, so Great Britain formed a special border task force.
A border security force being unveiled by ministers today is unable to search for illegal immigrants at weekends because of a £100million budget crisis.
The ban on immigration staff searching for illegal immigrants at the weekends and Bank Holidays is the result of a £100 million overspend which has left officials desperate to avoid overtime payments wherever they can.
All raids will be halted except where staff formally request written permission at least three weeks in advance from senior bosses - who have made clear it is unlikely to be granted.
I wonder how well Discount Law Enforcement works.
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So the guy you’ve been hanging around with for 20-plus years sells videos of himself cursing the USA and white people in general from the pulpit? Make him look less bad by throwing your white grandma under the bus.
“The point I was making was not that my grandmother harbors any racial animosity. But she is a typical white person. If she sees somebody on the street that she doesn’t know . . . there’s a reaction in her that doesn’t go away and it comes out in the wrong way.”
See? Everybody’s a racist wacko, especially those typical white people. Vote for me.
Also, I’m developing a theory that the more trouble you think you’re in, the more American flags you need to have on stage with you.
Stupid.net
Finally, even the homely or sensible can pretend to be the ultimate form of life on the planet: a party girl.
The Miss Bimbo internet game has attracted prepubescent girls who are told to buy their virtual characters breast enlargement surgery and to keep them “waif thin” with diet pills.
In the month since it opened the site, which is aimed at girls aged from 9 to 16, has attracted 200,000 members. Players keep a constant watch on the weight, wardrobe, wealth and happiness of their character to create “the coolest, richest and most famous bimbo in the world”. Competing against other children they earn “bimbo dollars” to buy plastic surgery, diet pills, facelifts, lingerie and fashionable nightclub outfits.
If you can’t have your virtual slut OD in a back alley and drown in her own vomit, then I don’t see the point of playing.
