TEN JACK TEN

Sent 1/14/08 in response to this column:

It’s called “Mass Effect” and it allows its players - universally male no doubt - to engage in the most realistic sex acts ever conceived. One can custom design the shape, form, bodies, race, hair style, breast size of the images they wish to “engage” and then watch in crystal clear, LCD, 54 inch screen, HD clarity as the video game “persons” hump in every form, format, multiple, gender-oriented possibility they can think of.

I am a 41-year old conservative.  I am in the middle of a playthrough of Mass Effect.  There is no “humping.”  There is no copulation.  There is no group sex activity.  There is no realistic depiction of sex acts.

What there is:  a scene that occurs in one of the assignments in which a character named “the asari consort” is grateful for the character’s service and provides a physical reward.  Because the character can select to be male or female, the scene will either appear to be either heterosexual or homosexual.  It is not an explicit scene; I’ve seen worse on television many times. 

I expect that if I pursue a romantic subplot with one of the female members of my “team,” something similar might occur.  I’m not expecting anything explicit there, either. 

This issue is discussed many places on the net, including here: 

http://www.joystiq.com/2007/11/16/singapore-un-bans-mass-effect/

http://www.joystiq.com/2007/11/12/mass-effect-love-scene-now-less-safe-for-work/

http://kotaku.com/gaming/game-on/singapore-lifts-mass-effect-lesbian-ban-323638.php

I’ve been reading your stuff on Townhall for a while, and it’s disappointing to see you didn’t do your homework on this before hitting the panic button.  Please educate yourself and revisit the issue.

–Rick H.

The console that breaks

If you actually use it

Has broken again

It’s entirely possible that I’d built up too much expectation for a demo of less than a gig that took 6.5 hours to download from the PlayStation Network.  That kind of anticipation should pay off somehow.

But 6.5 hours and a gig on your hard drive don’t get you a hell of a lot of gameplay anymore.  Slide down a rope, chop some guys up, repeat.  Given how long this game’s been in the pipeline, I’d expected a high degree of polish and control.  But it really didn’t feel much smoother or more sophisticated than your typical last-gen button-mashing one-against-many fighter.  Hopefully, they held some things back for the full release.

Swayed by the price cut, the prospect of reduced funtionality in future versions, and the fact that I had more money than sense at that moment, I bought PS3 from Circuit City yesterday.  Even better, they didn’t pull my internet order within 24 minutes so I got a gift card.  Woohoo.

Impressions follow.

- It’s a polarizing industrial design, just like the PS2 (which I found particularly ugly). This time, I thought the PS3 was gorgeous in shiny black and chrome, while My Lovely Wife thought it looked silly.  With the PS3 in its place next to the Xbox 360, there’s no mistaking that two very different design philosphies were are work.

- It’s a nice PS2, assuming you get one with the PS2’s chipset rather than the 80gig version with only software backwards compatibility. You can have infinite memory cards on the hard drive, there’s progressive scan support and nice upscaling. It’s as good as PS2 games are ever going to look.  Too bad the image is off-center and doesn’t quite reach the screen edges of my Sony HD set. And can’t be adjusted.

- Sony put nothing in the box they didn’t have to. You get: the PS3, the manuals, the power cord, a Sixaxis controller, a short USB cable, an ethernet cable, and a composite video cable. No demo disk, no HD cables of any kind, no optical cable, no PS2 memory card adaptor. And no demos or videos on the hard drive, either.

- Sony still hasn’t worked all the kinks out of it. It took forever to get it to talk to my WiFi router (which may have been a non-PS3 issue, I suspect an old wireless bridge was interfering). But while I was figuring that out, I couldn’t upgrade the 1.3 firmware. And it wanted that firmware update before it would play nice. The manual directs users to go to Sony’s Playstation website for updates so they can install them from a memory stick or other device. However, while the Playstation website has a menu tab for PS3 system updates, but nothing’s there. Also, the controllers constantly need to be re-synced after starting and quitting a PS2 game.

- Giving the Sixaxis controller non-removable batteries and requiring it to be connected to a live USB port to charge is stupid.

- The remote-play media functionality with the PSP is impressive, but I don’t know why I’d want to use it instead of slapping my movies and music on the PSP’s memory stick. If they could let me play a PS2 game remotely, that would be impressive, but there aren’t enough buttons on the PSP for that.

- The XMB interface is either elegantly spare or cold and uninviting. I’m leaning towards the latter.

- The PS3’s web browser is worse than the Wii’s. Less clear, less functional, worse fonts, worse navigation.

- The sound setup makes you choose between the A/V cables OR the optical toslink. Why not both? I can’t be the only one who has consoles hooked up to both the TV and the surround-sound amp.

- The Playstation store is not well stocked for a platform more than six months post-launch. There’s only a handful of exclusive downloadable games, and only a couple of handfuls of downloadable PS1 games. Nintendo’s releasing 3 downloadable games a week for the Wii, every Monday. MS has a bunch of downlodable games for Xbox Live Arcade, and releases something almost every Wednesday. Sony has no dedicated release day and isn’t publicising what’s in the channel.  It looks like their attention span ran out after the initial batch of stuff.

- Clearly I bought this because I’m a gadget freak with faith in Sony’s ability to deliver in the future. There are only four PS3-exclusive titles I’m even a little interested in right now, and one of those is the poorly reviewed Full Auto 2. Here’s looking forward to the fall.

Next Gen takes a shot at predicting current-gen price cuts with an analysis of last-gen price points:

For all the talk of Sony dropping its price, it is Microsoft that appears to have the impending date with destiny. In fact, if Microsoft doesn’t drop its price by the end of July 2007, it will have held the line on its pricing longer than the PlayStation 2 did last generation.

The average price for a console last generation, weighted by volume of sales, was under $200. So the important price appears to be $200, not $300 as some have speculated. The best selling console of the new generation, Nintendo’s Wii, also happens to be the one closest to this price.

LINK

GamesRadar has a huge interview with game store clerks.

What’s the most useless thing you’re forced to push on the customers?

#1: Warranties and magazine subscriptions.

#2: Buyer protection plans.  They’re pure profit for the company, but I hate pushing them. 

#7: They cover hardly anything - officially - and are just a way for the store to get money.

#5: “Hey! If your disc explodes we’ll replace it!” Seriously, I have cartridges from before I was born. They still work. You do not need insurance.

#2: I will never personally buy one and I think they’re a complete waste, so I have a lot of trouble recommending them. 

And then there’s:

#6: I love it when you get an 8 yr. old trying to talk his mom into buying Grand Theft Auto.  I look at the parent and say, “I just need to let you know that this is a mature-rated game. You play a guy working for a mob boss who gets to beat up and kill people, take drugs, steal cars, etc. Oh! And you get to pick up hookers.” The looks on the parents’ faces is hilarious… and the loathsome look from the kids is great, too.

LINK 

The refund check for my Xbox 360 repair showed up a couple of days ago. MS, in case you were worried, we’re cool now.

In the meantime, I hurried to buy an extended warranty for my Console of Indeterminate Reliability before the 90-day repair warranty ran out. Now, MS is giving all repaired systems a one-year warranty. I hope the newly purchased extended warranty gets tacked on to the newly extended repair warranty for the system repair that was later comped due to the newly extended orginal warranty.

Gaming Nexus gives us the Ten Commendments of a Console Launch.  They should all be heeded, but here’s my favorites:

2. Thou shall have enough accessories to go with the system 

5. You shall not steal extra money from us by not including key components in the box

10. Future launches will launch with one and only one SKU

LINK

The Xbox has been dead for a while, but it was really brought home to me today. Looking at GameFly’s Coming Soon page shows only five games for the original Xbox:

Fuel
Major League Baseball 2K7
Drive to Survive
Ultimate Pro Pinball
Lawnmower Racing Mania 2007

Of these four games, only Fuel and MLB 2k7 have a definite release dates. The list on EBGames is even more bleak, showing no future releases. In contrast, the PS2 has 41 games in the Coming Soon section, including five from Electonic Arts. If EA, masters of the multi-platform release, have dropped Xbox support, then the platform is definitely dead.

As far as I can tell, this is what Microsoft wanted. MS, never a strong first-party publisher, released its last game for the Xbox (Conker: Live and Reloaded) in June 2005, five months before the Xbox 360 launch. And I’m sure that was due to Rare’s inability to produce a game within deadline (it was originally slated to be a December 2004 release), rather than reflecting MS’s desire to support its outgoing system.

The Xbox hardware was overengineered and expensive, an example of MS’s brute-force approach to a market they didn’t really understand. In part because they relied heavily on parts from outside suppliers, they lost money on every console sold, from the first to the last unit. As a result, the system’s life cycle was truncated. The system never reached the $100 price point generally considered to be the mass-market sweet spot (after dropping to $150, the last batch to go through the retail channel sold for $180 with a bundled copy of Forza Motorsport). The Xbox was an enthusiast’s machine, not an everyconsole.

But while it lasted, it was the best of its generation. For multi-platform titles, it was the system of choice thanks to faster load times, smoother gameplay, and sharper graphics. It’s still the only last-gen console to hold its own on an HDTV. So long Xbox, you cost MS a lot of money.

I suspect I’m squarely in their target market, but Sony has utterly failed to show me a damn good reason to buy their new console and hook it up to my HDTV. In fact, all I’ve got are reasons not to buy one:

(1) They screwed up the HD rendering. As far as I can tell, some games support 720p, some support 1080i, and some support 1080p. But, if you can’t run at the native resolution, the PS3 will significantly reduce the resolution sent to your set, rendering it less than HD. In contrast, all 360 games support either 720p or 1080i displays without requiring manual reconfiguration. It should “just work.”

(2) They screwed up the movie playback. Sony considers its Blu-ray movie support to be a selling point, but the PS3 lacks the ability to properly scale movies to resolutions less than 1080. Nor will the PS3 upscale DVDs, despite the wide availability of $100 players than can do it.  Oh, and the remote control is Bluetooth-only, so you can’t use that expensive learning multi-remote with your PS3.

(3) They started a format war they didn’t need to start. Nobody wants to get stuck with the next Betamax. Or for that matter, the next Mini-Disc, the next DAT, the next ATRAC, or the next UMD. DVDs are widely supported and aren’t going anywhere. The picture quality difference between an HD-DVD or Blu-ray disc and standard DVD is not as dramatic a leap as DVD was from VHS. So, naturally, Sony minimizes the incremental benefit of higher resolution by refusing to agree on a format.  They can’t afford to alienate early adopters, yet they plunged ahead with their quest for the Next Big Format They Can Own.

(4) The games aren’t there. The PS3 has yet to offer me something I can’t already get on the Xbox 360 or easily live without. Ports of EA Sports games and Tony Hawk? Another damn Ridge Racer or Full Auto? An alternate-history WWII first-person shooter? Blah.

(5) They screwed up backwards compatibility. It’s been well documented that on non-progressive-scan PS2 games, the PS3 actually looks worse than a PS2. The pictures are washed-out and unnecessarily blocky. They removed rumble in a fit of corporate pique to spite Immersion, who hammered them in a patent lawuit that Microsoft was smart enough to settle. And, you have to pay extra for a gadget to transfer your PS1 and PS2 saves onto the PS3, and PS2 controllers and accessories won’t work with it. So much for the idea of a system replacement for the PS2.

UPDATE: It looks like firmware update 1.5 fixes the display issues with PS2 games.  The other complaints have not been fixed by Sony, but I’ve heard rumors of a PS2 to USB adapter from third parties.

(6) They screwed up the retail packaging by splitting the systems. You can buy a version with a 20gig hard drive, or a version with a 60gig hard drive and extras like memory card readers (but not PS1/PS2 memory cards) and WiFi. Sony hasn’t made it clear whether the version with the smaller hard drive and no WiFi can easily communicate with the PSP. Why waste shelf space on two systems?  Why take the risk of buying the inferior system?

(7) They overpriced it. $600 for a non-gimped PS3 is a significant hit I won’t take without a damn good reason. I’m still waiting for the damn good reasons to start flowing from Sony. Until then, me and my money will do other things on other consoles.

My warranty replacement Xbox 360 lasted nine days before it had a fatal seizure or stroke or whatever 360’s have when they die. Coffin number two on the way.

I’ve requested a non-refurb system this time around. I have no real expectation that this request will be honored. MS will have to spend a lot of time and effort before their Xbox 360 hardware operation gets up to a level where it can be credibly described as “half-assed.”

The Toronto Star nicely summarizes the obvious:

“Wii was definitely the most popular by far,” said Paul Webber, manager of EB Games near Victoria Park and Danforth Aves. “It was 10 to 1. Twenty to 40 people were lined up every morning in front of the store. A PS3 would take a whole day to sell while a Wii was gone in 20 minutes.

“While holiday sales totals are the subject of much speculation on the web, the research firm NDP Group estimated that Wii’s sales figures for November were more than double those of its technologically beefier competition. According to the firm, Wii sold 476,000 units, while the PS3’s figures were put at 197,000.

In fact, those numbers may be low. In late November, Nintendo said it had sold 600,000 consoles in just the first eight days after its Nov. 19 launch across the Americas.

LINK

I try to reserve my schadenfreude for parties that deserve it, like reality show contestants, Saddam Hussein, or sports teams from Miami.  But high up on the list are “flippers,” the digital-age version of the  ticket scalper.  These are the guys who go to great lengths to put themselves between retailers of new game systems and the customers who just want to play them.

So nothing puts a satified smile on my face like hearing that the yahoos who thought they’d get rich off of the PS3 are now tasting bitter disappointment.

Within two days of the system’s launch the going price dropped by over $1000. eBay prospectors across the country were stunned at the rapid depreciation of their investment. While they were still looking at $600 profit on average, it was a far cry from the windfall everyone had been expecting.

The smart thing to do in that situation would be to wait, right? Several enterprising folks I talked to during the launch festivities predicted a glut early on, and planned on holding their systems until Christmas, when demand would be at its highest. As the graph indicates, that wasn’t the wisest move. Four days before Christmas PS3 auctions hit the lowest point ever, bottoming out at just $724. Figuring in sales tax, that’s less than $100 profit on a 60GB system.

Guess they should have tried to scalp Wiis.

LINK

MS brings their new console up to par with the competition’s warranties, and promises to send refunds to the gamers that paid for repairs. I only hope my persistent internet whining and testy phone calls to Xbox customer service contributed in some small way.

Looks like I’ll get my $105 back in 10 weeks. I should probably spend that on an extended warranty.

Effective today (December 22), the one year warranty is now the standard for all Xbox 360 consoles. Customers that experience hardware issues with their Xbox 360 within one year of purchase will have their consoles repaired at no cost. Moreover, the new warranty policy is retroactive, so consumers that may have already paid for out-of-warranty Xbox 360 repair within one year of the console’s purchase will be eligible for reimbursement of their console repair charges.

LINK

This poll on Quarter to Three asked members whether their 360’s had ever needed service, or whether they’d had a 360 for X amount of months without problems. The number of voters who had problems was always above the number of voters who’d had a problem-free system for over 10 months. Past a certain point, it looks like a question of “when” rather than “if” for 360 problems.

One of the neat things about the Wii’s design is a cool blue LED glow around the slot in the disc drive.  It flashes when a disc is inserted or ejected, and when the unit is powered up.

This morning, it was off, but the blue light was continuously glowing on and off.  I fired it up, and this appears to be Nintendo’s way of letting you know something new is available.  This time it was the Forecast Channel, which lets you download weather info.  (Not looking too good for Christmas Eve according to the 5-day forecast.)  Not earth-shaking, but at least it’s clever.

Now I’ll be looking out for the glow.